SheMentor

Having a good mentor is critical for women executives trying to gain advancement in their careers.  It is important because it’s a need that is currently not being filled for women in the business community.  There is a tendency for mentors to choose mentees who are like THEM --and because there is still a much larger number of men in leadership positions, this means they will more likely mentor other men.  Research shows that fewer than 25% of professional women experience real mentoring in their careers.   Sometimes, you can’t wait to learn important business lessons as they come – you need an expert with specific information, life experience, and advice that will help you move forward. You quite literally need someone who’s “been there, done that” at the leadership level to which you aspire. 

So, where do you turn when you are in need of a mentor?  Well, the answer is, it depends on whether you seek a “Casual” or “Formal” mentor relationship.  With casual mentor relationships, you can find mentors by using your connections, contacting your own company to see if they have a mentoring program, and generally finding people who are doing what you want to one day do, and ask them to mentor you!   With formal mentor relationships, you would turn to a professional who makes coaching or mentoring their living.  And there are a lot of good benefits to having a formalized mentor in addition to your casual mentor relationships.  For example, participating in a paid, formal program removes any hesitancy that you might be interrupting or inconveniencing your mentor, and allows you the freedom to contact your mentor at any time. You can feel comfortable knowing that the mentor has been trained to make every meeting productive, and that you will receive one-on-one attention focused specifically on your goals.  A formal mentoring program also has a beginning and an end date. Oftentimes in a casual mentoring relationship, mentors and protégés are often hesitant to commit to the relationship because of a concern that the relationship will never end, or it will be difficult to end. A formal mentoring program removes any obligation to one another to continue the relationship once the program has ended, especially if the relationship has not been ideal. It allows both individuals to understand their commitment to each other and be completely focused on the goals of the program.  

By the way – I believe it’s important to have BOTH types of mentor relationships – each has something unique to offer you that the other doesn’t.

It is important to appropriately set your expectations for what you can reasonably expect to gain from your mentor.  I believe that one of the biggest mistakes people make when working with a mentor is forgetting that mentors, or coaches, are not therapists, and you shouldn’t really WANT them to be. If you go to a therapist, you’re there because of a problem you have.  When you seek a coach or mentor, nine times out of ten you simply want to improve in some area.

What are some good resources you can recommend for women looking for mentorship?  Well, you gotta love the internet, because it’s opened up SO many opportunities for men AND women to research, read, write, learn, and interact.  You’ve got to first identify the area of your life with which you would like a mentor’s help.  Then, who do you know?  Talk with your company – often times, companies will set up mentoring programs to enrich the learning opportunities for their management team.  One specifically good resource I would recommend is a web site named  iMantri.com.  Whether you want to be a mentor or a mentee, iMantri allows you evaluate your competencies, help find a suitable mentoring match, provides a framework and facilitates mentoring interactions.

How does being a mentor benefit someone that is trying to climb the corporate ladder?  Well, as an example, one of my clients grew up in a household where the mom worked in the home (what we used to call housewife), and the father was a scientist, so she was never around business culture at all.  Other than the fact that she had a pretty outgoing personality, she was pretty clueless on corporate politics at her first job as a result.  Mentors can really just steer you through some of those waters – you know, pull you aside and say “you know, you might not want to blurt out this and that next time in a meeting with Fred’s boss, because he’s sensitive to X”.  

If you are a female business executive and haven't established a mentor for yourself, there's no time like the present. Make a commitment to yourself to think through the kind of mentor you'd seek, and get the process started - it could be the difference between a good career - and a GREAT career!

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